It was all so confusing to me. Trump was angry, Cruz was crazy and I couldn’t figure out what was going on with Jeb. But now I know. People always say liberals are the artsy ones, but now that I’ve seen this incredible adaptation of the Lord of the Flies, I surrender to the incredible talents of conservatism.

Illustration for article titled People Keep Saying Trumps Campaign is Orwellian, But Thats Wrong
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Illustration for article titled People Keep Saying Trumps Campaign is Orwellian, But Thats Wrong
Illustration for article titled People Keep Saying Trumps Campaign is Orwellian, But Thats Wrong
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Illustration for article titled People Keep Saying Trumps Campaign is Orwellian, But Thats Wrong

We now know why he went after Jeb. He needed his glasses to start the fire.

Orwellian is this word that gets thrown around for every charismatic, power hungry leader, but the true horror of 1984 is its civility. A government that has already tamped down dissent, infiltrated our homes with cameras and trains children to spy on their parents may not be far off, but last night’s riots show that we are not yet there. We’re still in the early stages, gathered round the fire and desperately hoping some adult will come save us from from an orange painted savage promising his followers meat and good times.

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Illustration for article titled People Keep Saying Trumps Campaign is Orwellian, But Thats Wrong
Illustration for article titled People Keep Saying Trumps Campaign is Orwellian, But Thats Wrong
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I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already killed and eaten Christie.

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